So I am going back and forth trying to decide if I want to take on another blog and have it focus on the different diseases that people have and how it effects them and those in their lives. I have this blog, obviously, but I would like to make a new one that focuses completely on other diseases and illnesses besides mine.
Bec is adrift. It’s the summer before her junior year in college. She’s sleeping with a married professor, losing interest in her classes, and equivocating about her career. She takes a job caring for Kate, a thirty-six-year-old woman who has been immobilized by ALS.
As it turns out, before the disease Kate was a stylish and commanding woman, an advertising executive and an accomplished chef. Now, as she and Bec spend long days together, Bec begins to absorb Kate’s sophistication and her sensuality, cooking for her, sharing her secrets, and gradually beginning to live her own life with a boldness informed by Kate’s influence. The more intense her commitment to Kate, the further Bec strays from the complacency of her college life. And when Kate’s marriage veers into dangerous territory, Bec will have to choose between the values of her old life and the allure of an entirely new one.
My husband is worried I am pushing myself too hard, which I probably am, but this is something I would love to do, either on my normal blog or create a new one.
I want to learn more about other illnesses and help others any way that I can because I understand what it’s like to feel like you need t0 be able to handle your illness yourself.
I understand how you spend months, even years being told that your illness is all in your head and as much as you try to convince others that it’s not, the more you start wondering if what they said is true, maybe it was all in your head.
I understand how diagnosis changes your life in more ways than get more most people even realize, especially if you have in invisible illness and you look fine on the outside.
I know how validating it is the moment the doctor comes in and says you have a Chronic/Invisible/Fatal illness. You sit there, your hands fidgeting, your heart beating so fast you think you might pass out. You want to scream at them to tell you what the tests said already, not try and make small talk first.
You are so relieved that your illness is not in your head, that you are not crazy, there actually was something wrong with you this whole time and if you would have listened to the people who told you it was probably nothing and that they wouldn’t bother going to the doctor for something so minor, you may not have caught this fast enough to help stop the progression of the symptoms. You (Well, I know I did) feel a little guilty satisfaction and smug when you tell those who doubted you that you do have something wrong with you and that they were wrong.
I know what it feels like when the relief that it wasn’t in your head goes away. Finally, I have a diagnosis and it wasn’t in my head after all! Then, sometime later after the doctor leaves and you go back home, you crash. Hard. You’re whole world has changed. It suddenly hits you that nothing will ever be the same again. You spend hours imagining how life would be from now on and how you imagine handling it. No Scenario can even come close to what really happens when you get sick.
When you get sick, everyone always says “I am always here for you.” but in my experience they say that but always end up walking away the moment you start struggling with your illness and you cannot go places or do the things you used to do. They loved hanging out with you and constantly making plans as the person you were before. They are always there for you when you are healthy and can keep up. They aren’t there for you when you get sick because you cannot go places and do the things you used to do. You change; physically and emotionally. You become a different version of you. You have to stop going the pace you were before. You’ve had to take a step back from things you love.
And….end ramble 😐